if you give a pig a pancake

for the first time since january 1, i had the time to exercise, but instead opted to remain at my restricted calories for the night.   as i lose each pound, the total amount of calories i consume each week lowers by 5-10.   because i've lost 14 pounds, i'm now at 1265 calories allowed each day.

unless i exercise.  then i can eat back those calories burned.  i love to eat.  i love to eat!  so i exercise 5-6 days per week.  rarely am i hungry and not able to satisfy that hunger with food.  i burn up so many calories, there are usually some left at the end of the day.

at 7pm tonight, i had the all clear to go to snap fitness.  i had an hour.  i only need 45 minutes to burn 450 calories on the elliptical.   i set it at level 10 and the sweat drips off me.   that gets me ample chips and guacamole while i'm watching 'the bachelor' finale.   throw in an apple dipped in chunky peanut butter and i'm in heaven.   i'm willing to do 20 minutes of kickboxing for 4 caramels.    i love to eat.

i came in the bedroom to change into workout clothes.    i see my brand new ipod.   just bought it yesterday.   freshly loaded with songs.   i decide to make a fast paced song playlist to really get my body pumping on the elliptical.  i start flipping through songs reliving the glory days when each was my fave.  i notice an orange and blue banner in my periphery and so i sit at my laptop to catch up on reality steve.

this is playing out like a laura numeroff children's book, but she'd title mine  if you give a girl a chicken bacon ranch salad.  that salad was the ultimate factor for my decision to stay home and be satisfied with my remaining 149 calories for the night.  i made that salad for supper and every bite was divine.   when the big silver bowl was empty, i felt super satiated and could not have imagined a better meal.   oh so tasty.

rookie mistake.   yes, i was fabulously full and feeling eater's high.   i mistakenly thought that feeling could carry me through sitting for two hours watching ben pick courtney.  of course it didn't.   that salad was long forgotten when hunger pangs came midway through the show.    so i used most of my 149 calories on precious four caramel squares.  quite possibly the best food ever invented.

i have enough calories left for 2 certs.  2 piddly certs.

i learned my lesson.  2 certs does not a robust snack make.  

have really good breath when going to bed

shhhhhh! Why is she crying like that?

my whole family is back under 1 roof. flurry of activity around the house.   there were root beer floats.  Taco salads.   Hugs and kisses.  Lots of chatting.
 
And now it is midnight,  my laptop will not connect to the effing Internet, I'm done trying to figure it out,  I'm not touch typing this whole blog on my phone because it takes me forever and im worn  out from the flurry. 

So this is it tonight.   I told an inappropriate "you wish" joke when wim commented that he wished something was "at least ten inches".     I'm only saved by the fact that roni was already gone to soccer practice and she is  the only one of the five of us that is under 18. 

Im not condoning my gaff, but I blame the instant commotion created by all of us  together again after three months. 

It was thrilling, fun,  .. and annoying as bert (my oldest son at 19 and home from a stint in Georgia with dad  alien) did not bat an eye at talking in my ear all through the bachelor.   He rarely watches TV and thought this was the perfect time to be  telling me about his abs of steel and to ask me to go with him to  snap fitness tomorrow.  All while Casey and her long-butt romper are getting the boot from Ben.  

And then at the end of the night.. .when bert had been caught trying to pull the wool over my eyes about something, when he was apologizing He looked at me, held out his  hand as if to offer me up a treasure,

   and said "now mom,  will you please accept this rose of apology from me tonight"

Laying it on pretty thick!   That's my bert.    laugh my butt off.