left, left, left, right, left!

following is the poem i wrote for a white elephant gift exchange we did at our holiday party this weekend.  gifts were passed either to the right or left based on the wording in the poem.  it's based loosely on 'twas the night before christmas' and is about our party preparations the night before the big day.  fun was had! 



twas the night right before the NOT TOO OLD TO PARTY party when right through the house

not a creature was left stirring except Benji the dog who was chasing a grouse.

the wine glasses were set right by the chimney with care

in hopes that our fabulous friends soon would be standing right there

our children were nestled right in michigan, chaska, and st cloud

while visions of party merriment in our heads did abound

and greta in her flannels and alan left in his long underwear

had just drank a bunch of left-over coffee to stay up late to ready the lair

when right out on the left side of the kitchen there rose such a clatter

alan sprang right from handyman repairs to see what was the matter

he found greta right right right right right up a shit creek

so he tore open the shutters and right-ly grabbed the ice pick

he started chopping up ice and dipping it in the left snow bank

so everyone could have chilled drinks which is rightly dank

when, what to greta's wondering left eye should appear

but a miniature chihuahua wanting to lick her left ear

with Spike's jumping and begging and licking right quick

she knew right in the moment she must find a lighter from Bik

there may be smokers on the left deck needing ashtrays and flame

so she whistled and shouted to alan, were there smokers, who came?

it had been so long since they threw a party, they felt a bit rusty

they knew they had to whip the house right into shape since it was all crusty

they (greta) made lists and left cleaning the kids rooms to the kids

so that's why those are off limits until bedtime where we're taking bids

linens were washed right, folded, sorted and doted

and greta dreamed of a fun night where she would get loaded

alan found the perfect place left of the tree for the basket of disc

knowing the golfers present may want to putt, broken glass is a risk

but it's left too freezing cold outside for putting and smoking, 

so do your putts right in here but keep your butts outside toking. 

the right night was drawing to a close as it was nearing midnight

not late you say, well at this ripe old age sleep gets harder to fight

the coffee's wearing off and alan looks down right drowsy

greta wants to get her beauty sleep so she's not feeling lousy

they can't wait for right at 6:30 to get here on saturday evening

and are left wondering who will be the first guests to arrive and later be leaving. 

with a wink of his left eye and a left twist of his head

alan soon gave greta a kiss so nothing was left to dread

they felt good about the cleaning and prepping and left over work

then filled the candy dishes, and left hoping no one would act a jerk

then greta heard alan exclaim, ere he left for the bedroom right out of sight

happy christmas to all the not too old to party goers and to all a good night!