the list that never was

the fog has lifted from my post-marathon blues and i am back in business as a human being again.   good thing, since tomorrow is my marathon and my one-month.  happy anniversary to grandma's marathon and greta, cheers!   today, i'm writing a betsy hodgepodge list of thoughts as i'm still a tad bluesy and don't have all my capacities functioning fully quite yet.  here i was championing my quick body recovery.  my body soreness vanished within a week and i thought:  i'm recovered from my marathon.  i'm a miracle!

 oh little did i know that the thick fog all along grandma's marathon, would continue to cover my mind and motivation even 3 weeks later.  i've been very fatigued generally, my mind has not been sharp.    i haven't been motionless, i've been lifting and flinging frisbees.  i've been muscle strength training with my trainer for 2 straight weeks and playing a boat load of disc golf, but haven't wanted to lace up my sneakers much.

racing through my mind the last few weeks:  why don't i want to run?   is it just that the temp and humidity is so high that i will melt into a huge puddle of sweat?  or is there more to it?  i ran happily in sub zero over the winter but i'm steering clear of running in the 90s?  will i ever want to run again?  i will lose all my running fitness!  i worked so hard training for the marathon, why would i throw it all away?  do i just not like to run in the summer?   can i never run a fall marathon?  i can't imagine running 20 miles in 90 degree heat.  oh twin cities marathon, you are out because of my heat-and-humidity-induced run ban.   i already have another race in the books, so i have a reason to run.   but what if i don't want to run anymore?  ever?!   i will have to stop eating ice cream if i stop running.  oh my god.

i just popped a crumbled cert into my mouth.  i was on a parade float on saturday and my roll of certs flipped out of my pocket onto the road.  after i watched the float tire drive over my certs, i quickly grabbed the roll before 3 seconds and so i am still eating them on account of the 3-second-rule.  each one is in pieces and is a crumbly mess in my mouth, so i'm not getting the usual satiation that i derive from sucking on a full cert, which i use to keep my hunger pangs at bay.   alas, i cannot throw them away, as my heaps of hoarders piles of crap in my house can attest.

i didn't get to my hodgepodge list today.   i'll just say that when i ordered my chipotle burrito bowl the other day, she didn't say what kind of meat.  she said "we have run out of lettuce".  i was frozen in panic.  glanced back at alan to see if i heard her right.   fumbled around with wringing my hands as i was at a loss about what to do when buying a chipotle burrito bowl and there is no lettuce.    can i still eat a burrito?   do i want a lettuce-less burrito?  i said to alan, "i don't think i can eat a burrito without lettuce".   and he jerked his head around and saw a few ounces of lettuce in a container and told the bearer of bad news that he will buy that lettuce.  i wanted to shout,  you are next to a cub foods woman who drove a stake through my heart, go buy some bags of shredded lettuce for god's sake!   lettuce is what makes it healthy to eat here!