v-d - it won't hurt a bit.

how alien and i might celebrate v-day:

• he will let me squeeze a zit on his face

• i will let him watch while i coax a pimple on my chin

(future topic, our deeper than ever shared love of all face bumps that pop)

• he will take my measurements with the bendy tape measure

(so i know where i'm at with this 1300 calorie per day hell i'm in)

• clink our beers together

(alien currently has coors in the fridge.  on our honeymoon he called boddington's 'delicious' and orders summit epa most often.  but has no real beer brand loyalty.  once he went on a buying binge of gluek beer when he discovered it for $9.99 case (24 cans!).    i'm partial to corona 2 limes, or a fat 8 ounces of cabernet if i have an extra 32 calories to spare)

• poke fun of how sappy couples celebrate valentine's day with flowers and candy and jewelry

(our cats eat flowers so our house is devoid of plants and flowers at all times, and i'm counting my calories so am pooh-poohing candy at the moment, although alien would never give me an expected v-day gift anyway)

• discuss how the day is stupid and commercial and not a holiday, while holding hands

(although we do get the kids a little something, alien draws them a valentine picture that always has some punch, give them some treat they wouldn't normally get like their favorite drink: pink lemonade for roni, arizona tea for wim, muscle milk or protein shake for bert)

• alien will laugh heartily when i fart and gas it up so terribly under the covers.  the stink will be so bad, but he'll pretend it's as cute as he used to think it was when we first met.  i will love every second of this gift and hope it extends to day-after-valentines-day and beyond.    

• neither of us have ever bought the other a card in our 15 years together.  i have a love box filled to the brim of pictures alien's drawn me, homemade cards, and love notes written in his beautiful all caps printing.  

maybe we'll make silly hats for each other to wear.  maybe he'll buy me a hair cut so i can lop off that straggly mess.

one year for my birthday alien baked me an andes mint birthday cake - that kicks ass over the deliciousness of boddingtons beer.   but the true icing on that birthday was the snow sculpture cake i found in our front yard!

• love will be in the air.  it just won't be purchased.