the greta list: May 2012

i ran my second 5k this morning. my very first 5k was a few weeks ago on apr 21 and i ran that in 32:26. what follows are my musings about the race.

i went into the race today with the goal of having fun, as prescribed by so many wise people. and i actually did have fun. al went with to cheer me on and take photos and vids for posterity. every kilometer or so there he was with a beaming smile and hands a clappin and camera a snappin. it was energizing for sure.

also, i was given fab advice by mike s from the wildflower s family. they have a fancy door. and he's a runner. he suggested i say 'thank you' and give a smile to each volunteer i saw on the road. even when i felt really tired i forced myself to say 'thanks' and wave. at this 5k, almost all of the volunteers were police officers in uniform. every turn i made, cop. cop cop cop. i felt plenty protected. and hopefully they felt plenty thanked. all my thanking, my waving, and then the stern looks that turned into surprised smiles from the cops helped keep my mind off the running and like mike and a fellow livestrong.commer says, smilers finish faster!

i had the lake as backdrop the whole race. that was pretty, though the haze and misty rain prevented me from taking in it's full beauty i'm sure. no matter, i had my visor on to keep my eyes clear and dry, once again mike s to the rescue.

but even mike, who seems to know EVERYTHING about running, could not prepare me for the tears that would come at the pre-race festivities. the race proceeds benefit special olympics minnesota. shelby was there to tell all the runners (i have attached a number to my shirt so now i'm included in this group) what competing in sports means to him. he told us what athletic competitions do for his self esteem, his well being, and his spirit. he rattled off all of his awards and places in his events. shelby gave us a short history lesson about how the special olympics began and stressed the importance that they continue for many years to come.

he told us all these awesome things by using a dynavox voice output device, as shelby explained that he has autism and isn't able to speak using his voice. but just like every other person on the planet, he has plenty to say. so he uses his dynavox to talk. his mother stood proudly next to shelby as he gave his speech. i couldn't take my eyes off either of them and could have listened to him talk all day.

shelby smiled often but at one point he wasn't, and his kind mom turned and smiled at him and whispered 'smile'. he immediately showed his pearly whites and looked up at me. i had made a ton of eye contact with shelby and his mom during his talk in my near frantic effort to soak up every feeling they wanted us to feel. i made sure my face showed how appreciative i was that they came to tell us about special olympics.

and when shelby smiled that big smile, and looked right at me, it was at that very moment that i fell in love with running.

you see, during a run i usually spend a fair amount of time thinking about how lucky i am that i CAN run, that my body and mind works together to coordinate in order for me to run. i know how that ability can change in an instant and i see it every day in my own family. but mostly, while i'm running my overriding thoughts are about how hard it is, about how much i don't like it, about how much i want to stop running and just walk. i have this inner voice telling me 'no one will know if i stop, i don't even like doing this, quit being a poseur'. i run four times per week so that kinda sucks to have this voice chanting at me that i'm barking up a ridiculous tree thinking i am a runner.

but shelby helped me shut that voice off. i didn't hear it in today's run. for the first time that voice shut the hell up. instead, while i was running today, i was saying to myself "I am awesome! I am awesome! I am awesome!"

shelby's speech moved me to tears and a feeling of sheer joy that special olympics are alive and strong. i am grateful that i heard him speak today. i thank you, shelby, for giving me the confidence i needed to change from a poseur to a runner.

the other thing that got me moving faster was weird and not planned. i usually run 4 miles or 3 miles and set my ipod workout program to custom and punch in the miles and i'm off. the lovely female unbiased ipod voice tells me my pace every so often. "2 miles completed. pace is 10:55 per mile."... something like that. i use this key information to either run faster or slower depending on how fast i want my training run to be that day.

today, i set my ipod to the stock-choice '5k'. when i pushed the button around the 1k mark to check my pace it said "8:33 pace" so i slowed down a tiny, thinking 'simmer down girlie you don't want to wear yourself out on the first k' but i didn't really feel like i was running faster than i should be running and i was keeping beat with my playlist that i painstakingly selected to shoot for a 30 minute 5k.

then around 3k i hit the button and it said i had a "12:44" pace. what!??!?!??!? i hadn't slowed THAT much. i was so confused and so bummed that i was running a way slower 5k than i knew i was capable of. i had already ran it in 32:26. i said fuck it and i sped up and refused to check the pace again.

i prepared myself to see a sub-par time as i kicked it in near the end. i didn't have much energy left for kicking though, which again, seemed so strange since i was running 12 minute miles according to my ipod.

as i passed the finish line the official time read 27:28 and i couldn't believe it. i was so thrilled! i checked the total time on my ipod and it matched the race clock. all was right with the world. my pace for the race was 10:02. i would have celebrated but i was out of breath and needed to keep walking lest i keel over.

there was NO WAY i was running 12 minute miles in that race. i ran faster than ever so it's no wonder i had only an itty bitty baby kick at the end. i figure the pace readings must be different for a custom mile verses a 5k selection on the ipod.

i guess this tells me i have to learn how to 'feel' my pace, learn my body signals, run by instinct. i thought i could count on electronics to do it for me. good old instincts. ipod got nothing on you, instincts.

but really, i don't give a rats ass at this point, since my confusion spurred me to run faster and now i have set a new bar for myself on 5k races. never thought i could get under 30 min this soon. i am new to running so i'm not sure just how significant shaving 5 minutes off my time is, but it seems to me like this must be super dee duper note worthy. i've already notified runner's world magazine.