"down there"

i just bumped my shin ever so gently on the leg of a chair and winced in pain. my legs are really starting to feel the 13.1 miles of running i put on them this morning. 'recovery' .. new territory for me to figure out. once we got home from mankato, i lay in an ice bath for 16 minutes and caught up on my words with friends games. i napped for 2 hours. i'm going to pop some ibuprofin drink a bunch more water and hit my sack soon. maybe elevate my legs while i sleep. go for a walk tomorrow. this half-marathoner willl play it by ear.

last night i realized i was missing a mantra. i put out a call to my facebook peeps for some ideas and connected with two mantras that i used today. "I've got moxy!" and "Think strong. Be strong. Finish strong." both were key to helping me clock a superfast final 5k in the race and so i'll shout out a thanks to Mike C for the first one and Mike S for a link that scored me the second one. the mikes are looking out for me.

pitfalls to avoid for a half marathon:

• do not write your mantra and race plan with sharpie on your arm and hand the night before the race. i wrote my mantra in red and a few other key pieces of information in black. blue sharpie had my three goals on my hand -- all three goals achieved today!! when i woke up i had my mantra on my forehead from sleeping with my arm resting on my head. my hair had streaks of red on the top. i had blue all over the edges of my cell phone cover. i had to spend 6 precious minutes rubbing it all off with soap and water and rewriting it, that could have been spent on the pot pushing out the you know what. just wait til race morning to get the sharpies out.

• do not set your alarm for 630am and expect to leave the hotel room by 7am, having gotten dressed, ate breakfast, and moved your bowels. now i know... coffee takes a little over one hour to work it's magic. the threat of having to poop while running was at the forefront. at 7am, i felt something. so i sent alan down to the hotel lobby for more coffee. i decided to stay at the hotel an extra 20 minutes and forgo the explicit directions from the pacer that i was to meet at 740am at the start line.  

• do not think that a 10-minute drive will only take 10 minutes. we left the hotel at 723am (with a 10 minute drive to the race start) my butt still full of shit. crap. a 10 minute drive turned into much longer as we went the wrong direction two times and hit a detour. as we finally pulled up to the race start i saw people in hats and gloves and long pants and long sleeves and jackets and i'm like what the fuck the weather forecast yesterday said nothing about blasting wind! it was 50-60 degrees on weather.com. ill-prepared clothing wise i grabbed the long sleeve tech shirt which was the only thing i had to put on. i jumped out of the truck at 752am and ran to the porta potty to go pee. stood in line for 5 minutes jumping up and down as an attempt to stay warm. once in the porta potty to pee, i slipped my tech shirt on under my tshirt and just accepted that my legs were going to be frozen for awhile. the wind would have to slow down at some point i rationalized. but my mood quickly turned to elated when swoosh all my poo fell down the hole-- glory be!!!!

• do not worry about pissing your pants during race. i wasted valuable mental energy wondering if the people i was passing were looking at my butt noticing that my shorts were soaked and at my back legs noticing that gravity was bringing pee streams to my socks. i drank a dixie cup filled half with water at every 2 mile aid station. that is not really that much water. at mile 10, i really got some wheels and ran much faster than the first 10 miles. i had to pee immediately as i pulled away from my wonderful pacing group. in my last race, a 10k, i had to pee super bad the last 3 miles and held it as best i could and then expected to rush to the toilet after. but once that 10k race was over the urge to pee was gone and i didn't have to pee for hours. interesting. so i expected the same would be the case this time around.  so i put peeing out of my mind as a phantom pee urge that wasn't going to trick me this time.

• do not expect one race to be the same as another race. by mile 11.5 i was sure this was no phantom and i was wishing i had been doing kegel exercises all these years like my mom told me to do. i hadn't seen a porta potty for a long time and thought about running down the hill and just squatting but there were so many people around. so, i let loose a tiny and let a little pee out. after about a half a mile i knew kegels were a load of b.s. because over that half mile, i mastered the art of letting a little pee out at a time so as not to have a gushing of pee which would be noticeable to the naked eyes of fellow runners that i was passing. (oh yes, i felt glorious to pass people!!) i could feel the small stream connecting to my socks, but as long as the sun didn't hit my legs just at the right time someone happened to be looking, i felt my secret was safe. everyone looked exhausted that i was passing so i was moderately confident no one cared a lick that i was peeing my pants anyway. my shorts were black and i didn't think would show the soaked state they had become. at mile 12 and some change i spied a porta potty with green vacant indication. oh my god, i was debating about taking 30 seconds to stop and let all this pee out in a normal fashion. i wanted a faster time, but i was sick of this cat and mouse game i was playing down there. ducked into the porta potty and could not believe how much i urinated. where was it all coming from? flew out the door and was back on the road in no time.

following is a copy and paste of some of my answers to my running mentor tonight on facebook chat. i am so dog-tired that i cannot recount the race here and i pretty much did in the chat with my mentor. so read on if you like. complete a half marathon

my original plan -pre tibia muscle dealio - was stay with the 10:41 pace group, i even considered the 10:15 group. i def trained for the 10:41 group and could have knocked out a 2:20 for sure, and i'm sure a 2:15 at my best. but i didn't want my leg to be an issue today because i wanted the race to make me excited about grandmas, not scared of it. i TOTALLY pictured myself running the marathon today during the half! i'm super excited about it! sooooo i picked that slow pace to cushion my leg. and it worked. my legs were no problem at all. the first 10 miles felt like an easy training run. i took my headphones off and chatted for about 4miles of it. i DID want to start running faster many times but forced myself to stick with the plan. i kept telling myself, wait til mile 10, wait til mile 10. at mile ten i decided i would kick it down and run my last 5k as fast as i could, if my leg felt fine up til that point. and it did! so i did! i felt so strong pulling away from the pacer!! that was my fave moment of the race  

my fastest 5k race is 27:00 and i am certain my time was under 30 today and pretty sure it was very close to a 28. i didn't think to set up my ipod to do lap times or whatever to know for sure. but i know what time i left that pacer. and that points to about a 28:10 but it's not exact so i'm just saying sub 30. but that's freaking fast for me after already running 10 miles!!  

i did not have a single negative thought in my mind during the run. in my 10k women rock race i was bombarded with negative self talk and that race was REALLY hard. i pushed myself every second and could not have gone faster... THAT WAS A RACE. i mean i felt like i was racing. today i didn't feel like i was racing. felt like i was training. i didn't cry at the end like i thought i would since i'm so emotional and was crying at the speakers yesterday for gods sake. but i think it's because in my mind i didn't 'race' today.  

but i liked how i was so good to myself with positive feelings!!! so while YES i know i i could have run it much faster than a 2:24:21 i now know i can control myself during a race. i had a very fun time. i felt powerful. i was strong. now i have a personal best half, that i can crush next half. i will race the next one and i will love to hate that race.

yes, i am very good at doing what i'm told with this running business THANK YOU for all your help so far!! i have you on my list of influential people i am writing for each of the 26 miles of the marathon you got me into running, and you have sustained me through the months with support. i get frantic sometimes and you help calm me down with wisdom and advice. i appreciate you so much! thanks!

i high fived LOTS OF kids and adults!! i thanked all the volunteers and i thanks the soldiers for their service. i got that from you, and it makes me feel so good when i say "thank you for volunteering". why in the hell do i even run is what i said to myself over and over in my women rock 10k!! i was SO GLAD that was over! but i knew i ran my best and that was the key part to thrill me. that is why today wasn't as thrilling of a race, because i wasn't running my best. i ran a calculated race, which gave me a good race experience like you said. RUNNING IS SO MENTAL!! wow!!

mankato half marathon madness

following are the pictures in my head two days pre-race as a first time half-marathon runner.  

stop reading HERE if your own picture of me is ladylike and dainty.  carry on if you are okay with no holds barred poop talk.

• i took a shower today.  after, i had extra time to get ready and since i don't wear makeup or fix my hair, i picked up the nail clippers and set to trimming my toe nails.  just before making the first incision, i pictured myself cutting in too deep on a nail and reeling from that toe pain on mile 12.  i whipped those clippers down faster than you can say "you are paying good money to run 13.1 miles?? what an idiot."   

• after giving my recent pooping history a great deal of thought this morning, i realized my bowels have been under active for the past two days.  after picturing a turtle poking it's head out on mile 9,  i promptly drank loads of coffee and then spent beaucoup time in the bathroom vigorously rubbing my outer thighs coaxing over-activity.  i have googled pictures on the internet of peeps that shit their pants in marathons.  i don't want to be the first to do it in a half mary.

• my kids and i ate chipotle (my favorite) for supper yesterday.  last night when my daughter roni and i went to lift weights at the gym, i was stinking up the free weights room over and over.  the farting was ridiculous and amped up at least 10 fold over my usual performance.  fortunately we were the only souls at the gym at 10 on thursday night or i would have had to wrestle with the distracting (not to mention uncomfortable) task of holding it all in.   last night's farting-fracas fresh on my mind ...  i thought of my lunch date today.   my bestie had picked mexican food.   with another dousing of mexican food, i pictured myself with uncontrollable flatulence on race day and i can't handle one more race type thing to worry about.   i demanded a lunch relocation and scarfed down a plate of fettucinni instead.       

• picking a pair of underwear for today was a 2 minute process which is 1 minute 55 seconds longer than it usually takes.  i've no more time to clean laundry before the big race so my first pair sampled had to be tossed back into my undies bin.  it was so comfortable and no muss no fuss that i knew these just had to be my race-day pair.  (why is a single underwear garment referred to as a pair of underwear? because there are two butt cheeks contained inside?  and should the proceeding sentence have started with 'they were' rather than 'it was'?)     i pictured myself being snuggy free on race day. ahhhhh.

 if you think of it on sunday morning, send me thoughts such as these that i will be telling myself over and over when i have the insane urge to walk:

 "keep putting one foot in front of the other, greta"  

"think of that fat burger and double basket of fries waiting for you at the end, greta"

"when it's over you don't have to ever do this again but today you are doing it, keep running, greta"

"some people don't get to run, you do, so get your ass moving, greta"

"your legs are strong.  your legs are willing.  you can ice the shit out of them later, greta"

alright folks, that wraps it up for today's over-sharing of pre-race anxieties.  deep breath.  i can do it.   i can do it.  i can do it.  

that's what MEA is for

set the coffee pot to brew, mike.   pour a cup; i'm bringing back my bloggy blog.  no promises, but i've had the urge to write lately and MEA weekend feels like as good a time as any to set my fingers loose.    i had two bright blue folders in my hands along with the massive department of education checklist for monitoring those files as i was leaving my office today. 

 i turned to have one last look at the tens of tens of box elder bugs that inhabit my office, pointed my middle finger at them, and then i threw those files down on my table.  i fully intended to bring the files home over the 4-day break from school, to start the hours of work they will entail.  but, as it turns out i said fuck you to those files and those nasty creatures that ping against my cheek and arm while i'm responding to emails at work.  i hastily decided to have a vacation instead.  

first up, wine with girlfriends.  i hustled home before i could rethink my decision with the files.   (a decision for which i will pay dearly in my week-day evenings for the next two weeks.)    i brushed my teeth, giddily knowing they would be turning red later.  made a measured decision that i was too lazy to walk or bike to wildflower and possibly too winey to drive home after.  i went in search of al for a lift.  

found him loading the truck and trailer up with cut brush from trimming the overgrown forest in our back yard.  al commented, "i haven't trimmed these since before bert's accident."  ignoring my response of "i don't think you ever trimmed those", i shifted gears and quickly followed up with a compliment about how much yard work he accomplished today.  i was asking for a ride, no need to muddy the waters by highlighting past yard neglect.  

i asked if he wanted help hauling the brush.  and i threw in that the girls were all set for my arrival if he didn't need any help.   a quick no was offered up, yay!, and al's reply to my request for a ride, "certainly! that's what MEA is for right!" was a delight!   we hopped in the truck after loading up a final pile.  

well, no.  not really.  MEA weekend isn't entirely about me chumming around with my lady friends swilling wine and eating soup and candy corn.  as a speech therapist i've neither been interested in nor attended the teacher workshops that MEA promotes.  my speech-specific workshops are in april.   and i plan to, attend those, specifically. 

 for me, MEA is a break from the post-summer SHOCK of being back to full time days of teaching little people.  we've almost been back to it for two months now, and i relish this break.  a teacher must be "on" at all times and my communication challenges this year are top shelf toughies.   break, do your job.  

gotta scoot.  time to share more VOTE NO and running pictures on my facebook.   

 stay up late to write thegretalist for old times sake