on the advice of one of my kid's therapists, a few years back i read an internet synopsis of The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. no time to read the whole book. i was too busy figuring out how to get my wild child to clean up the rotting jack-o-lantern he just threw at the door.
there were a total of two books i read cover to cover out of the 17 books (yes i counted) that were suggested to me and/or given to me during the first two years of extreme parenting. i chose the two shortest books out of the bunch. both were extremely valuable, helping us immensely in our parenting. these were the winners of my precious time.
i certainly was drawn to both books by the catchy titles and for sure the picture on the nancy's book spoke right to me. that bloody knife was in our future i was sure of it. time was of the essence. in paperback, each was only 101 and 111 pages respectively, ding ding ding we have a winner!
i would get pissed every time another do-gooder with straight A child would suggest a book to me. you think i have time to read?? i was wasting away because i didn't have the time or the energy to eat. much less read. get that book out of my face, and take one of my kids for an hour to give me a break. let your well behaved smarty pants play with my nutjob and let osmosis do it's work.
so, while i didn't read The Five Love Languages, i learned all i needed to know from skimming a short description about each love language from the internets. http://www.5lovelanguages.com/learn-the-languages/the-five-love-languages/ i could easily identify which love language one each of my children spoke. this knowledge worked like a charm to bring me closer to each of my kids and develop our attachments. that therapist was a genius.
i didn't give a thought back then to al's love language. putting kids first causes havoc on a marriage. our kids were all consuming and there was no time to focus on our relationship. nearly all of our conversations revolved around one or all of the children. constant parenting sessions at the expense of make out sessions.
we scraped by on one weekend per month together, by way of respite. for two years, we spent respite almost the same way every month. al and i propped our eyes open with toothpicks to spend one evening together. the other day was spent doing our own thing with friends or just sleeping, until we had to gear up to pick them back up on sunday afternoon. some sundays it was really fucking hard to get into that car, turn the ignition key, and steer north.
but i digress.
i'm wondering if alan got his hands on this book. or simply if his intuition has pointed him in the right direction to more frequent relations. whatever the case, we are both happier and satisfied. my man has always been down for sexytimes pretty much any time. let's just say i don't match his 'drop of a hat' style.
i need to be greased with a generous helping of 'acts of service' with a side of 'physical touch', to put a Love Language fine point on it. i speak the these two love languages fluently. it appears al has ordered up some rosetta stone to hone his wife's love language skills.
for the past month, i get up and drag myself into the shower. when i come back to the bedroom to get dressed, the bed is made. THE BED IS MADE. smoothly. no bulgy bunching of sheet underneath. the comforter corners match on the ends. it is a work of art al has given to me, but it really is an 'act of service' he has done for me. ding ding ding, winner winner chicken dinner!
i usually sit down on the bed for a spell and check my facebook, or send soupkoolers a crushing blow in words with friends. then i get dressed. a made bed starts my day off with peace and organization and harmony. exactly what i need at the start of the day. i didn't even know this was something i longed for until i saw it the first time.
some girls want diamonds. for me, just make the bed and i'll jump at the chance to mess it up with you later.
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