threats should be full

you know what i get really excited about?    this:   kid is a total shit in the grocery store.   crying, whining, screaming, begging.    mom says "if you do that one more time we are leaving this store and going home".     kid whines again.    mom scoops kid out of the shopping cart, walks away from cart full of groceries, and heads out the door with a stunned kid in tow.

guess how many times i've been excited?  once.  and i go grocery shopping a lot.   and i've been to walmart plenty.  walmart is the breeding ground for unruly children and empty-threat parents.

the one time i saw the mom follow through on her going home threat, i wanted to jump up on the conveyor belt, throw my hands in the air, and shout to her "well done mama!  a few more times of that and you won't have to deal with whining at the store anymore!"  at all.  no more.  seriously.  

every time i follow through on a consequence for my child, it hurts me in some way.  the usual way it sucks for me is that when my kid has no privileges, that means i am pretty much grounded too.   but thems the breaks.  i'm the parent.  so, parent, parents.

kids are super smart.  even the dumb ones.    they try it all.   they ask me for something in front of a stranger or grandma or auntie carol thinking that i couldn't possibly say no in front of them.   what do i care?   oooooooh my aunt will think i'm a strict parent who doesn't budge.  rather be that than a parent with a whiny kid.

shorty shortelson tonight folks.   and a little preachy.  or a lot.   probably was too tired to write wittily tonight, but couldn't get this idea out of my head after running into one to many noodley parents that were pushed around by their kids.  

al just walked in.   he asked me:  "are you hotboxing it in here?"   i didn't know what he meant.  until he started spraying air freshener all over the room and doing the sort of laughy smile where he's trying hard to show me i'm still cute but he's really grossed out.  i didn't even realize i was farting.   and now we all know the term hotboxing.